花了4年多的時間，蔡雪雲三姐弟在花蓮鳳林，把早買好的一甲地蓋了這幾棟建築，就是為了一圓一家三代12個人住在一起的心願，裡面的歐式城堡、夢幻童話屋，每個空間都能夠讓您細細品味，三姐弟花了30年收藏，把世界各地的《古著》，變為日常。
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VENCBA-UE0&feature=youtu.be
2017年10月31日 星期二
Jokes 20171031
幽默以對退休時
■吳玲瑤
她教老公要快樂幽默，有一次去看電影聽到年輕人挑釁說：「那些老傢伙，憑什麼只付半價？」先生竟然開竅，機智地回答說：「因為我們看電影的時候，有一半的時間在打瞌睡]
2017年10月29日 星期日
MAN & GIRL -Joke Bank SEXIST JOKES 10/29/2017
JOKE BANK - SEXIST JOKES
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
For all the guys who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the knives are kept.
Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
There's a new drug for lesbians on the market to cure depression, it's called Trycoxagain.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. "Hello there and what is your name?" "Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?" "I'm Jim." "Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?" “Sure!" replies Jim. "Let's go!" At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk and asks, "Is this your brother?" "No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. "Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" "Then, it must be your boyfriend!" Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!" "Then, who is it?" Stacey replies, "That's me before my operation!"
How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.
A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it? The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.
Jane: "Where are all the kind, considerate, loving men who can show their feelings?"
Jill: "They already have boyfriends."
Jill: "They already have boyfriends."
What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I have received hundreds of replies to my ad for a husband. They all say the same thing - "Take mine."
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"
There are some girls that like to do something called "homie hopping" and homie hopping is basically a girl dates a guy and then she ends up trying to get with his friends, and then she gets with someone new, then jumps to his other friends, and so on. Guys have this and it's called "testing the waters".
I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years. What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond? My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a movie when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. Since I took a split second, she had to go to the mall and buy new outfits with jewelry, shoes, and purses to match.
Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
A: About fifty pounds.
A: About fifty pounds.
What is the mating call of a blond? I'm so drunk. What is the mating call of a brunette? Is that blonde gone yet? What is ther mating call of a redhead? NEXT!
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